Author(s): Boris Starling

Humour

The Haynes Manual is one of publishing's most famous and enduring icons. More than 200 million copies have been sold, covering everything from Austin Allegros to Zombie Survival.Now Haynes is sending itself up in a fabulously amusing and brilliantly-observed new format. Haynes Explains are compact guides to four major stages of life: babies, teenagers, marriage and pensioners. Based on the classic 'stripdown and rebuild' outline, and using original Haynes lines drawings, these books are perfect gifts or stocking fillers. 'You'll often find a couple who've never considered divorce, but you'll rarely find one who've never considered murder.'The aim of Haynes Explains Marriage is to help you get the best value from your partnership. It can help you (a) decide what work must be done (b) tackle this work yourself, though you may choose to have much of it performed by external contractors such as the local pizza delivery company, the garage that sells just-on-the-right-side-of-crappy flowers, or (failing those) your local Relate counsellor.Sections include:* That New Car Smell (the honeymoon period). 'Honeymoon (n): the last holiday a man has before he starts working for a new boss.' * Depreciation (how endearing habits become annoying).* Pillow Torque (sex and romance). 'My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask her for sex, she objects.'* Crash Test Ratings (arguments and how to handle them).* Backseat Drivers (when the in-laws come to stay). 'It's important to retain a soft spot for your mother-in-law. About halfway down the garden between the shed and the compost heap is ideal.'* Aerodynamics & Drag (keeping the marriage fresh).